HR retaliates at employee's boyfriend under the guise of them breaking the rules, girlfriend suggests she's jealous: 'It's pretty evident she no longer likes me'

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JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Jul 12, 2025 10:00 PM EDT

Romantic relationships and the workplace tend to work best if it's on television and your names are Jim and Pam. For everyone else, it's usually a rocky road. There is so much that can go wrong if you date somebody that you work with. It might seem like a good idea in the beginning, but what if everyone else finds out and starts to treat you differently? What if you break up and still have to see each other every day? What if one of you holds a higher position than the other, and now you have to be careful about power dynamics? 

These are just a few examples of the array of things that could go south when you start a romantic relationship with a coworker. But that doesn't stop everyone. Sometimes the heart wants what the heart wants and you just have to say "screw it" and figure it out later. 

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  • 01

    I met my new boyfriend at work, and the HR lady is treating him badly because she's always had a thing for him

    None of it can be proven, but we both know it. HR lady has never broken any rules or anything- but she has always been extra nice to my boyfriend and she is generally an unpleasant to be around. My boyfriend is kind of the man
    via u/Koolkat2kool4skool
  • 02
    N
    via Carmen Trujillo

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • That's what happened in this story to a couple who thought they had figured it out, but it turned out that their HR representative had some questions. They weren't sure, though, whether her concerns were valid or if they were born out of some kind of jealousy. Read on to see what happened. 

  • 03
    around here- he runs the show and is tight with the CEO because he's a hard worker and knows how to do everything. Works late, comes in early etc. Use to be a supervisor but stepped down to team lead because of the stress. HR lady came to him a month ago and said
    via u/Koolkat2kool4skool
  • 04
    that she could see him and I were probably more than friends and since he's technically above me, it's against the rules for us to be romantically involved. He's stepping down from team lead so we can be together (aw) She has since been very cold to him. It has
    via u/Koolkat2kool4skool
  • 05
    nothing to do with work- everyone is convinced it's because she's attracted to him and it's a petty thing. Today he asked her a work related question and she snapped at him and told him to go ask someone else. It was
    via u/Koolkat2kool4skool
  • 06
    inappropriate. My boyfriend does not take crop from anyone and is filing a complaint. I am nervous about my future here because it's pretty evident she no longer likes me and I'm on her list
    via u/Koolkat2kool4skool
  • 07

    Commenters had some questions about what was really going on here.

    TheDeaconAscended 1d ago . If your boyfriend is tight with the CEO and runs the show, why are you two getting involved with the HR staff member?
    via u/TheDeaconAscended
  • 08
    Soggy_Dinner_8068 · 1d ago HR manager here: Her behavior from telling your boyfriend it's against the rules to be with someone lower on the pole professionally is absolutely in line with most companies. policies, at least the ones I've
    via u/Soggy_Dinner_8068
  • 09
    worked for. Muddies the water and all of that. Relationships in the workplace are messy for companies and can cause a lot of unnecessary drama and distractions from work.
    via u/Soggy_Dinner_8068
  • 10
    Could she be attracted to him? Potentially. Could she also just be annoyed and disappointed that he did not disclose the relationship professionally before she found out? Potentially. Could be both. But she shouldn't be
    via u/Soggy_Dinner_8068
  • 11
    acting out this way and deserves a complaint for snapping. But she won't be fired for snapping, it's not illegal to lose your cool one time at work, like someone else said, most likely a slap on the wrist.
    via u/Soggy_Dinner_8068
  • 12
    I'd be careful, do your work and keep your head down as much as possible. Since you're lower on the professional ladder this could be an issue later on if you guys end of romantic relationship.
    via u/Soggy_Dinner_8068
  • 13
    Cheezburger Image 10528381184
    via nahmapdj

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 14
    Poetic-Personality • 1d ago Your new boyfriend...is going. to file a complaint with HR... because someone from HR is cold to him, and "snapped" at him...while he's dating a subordinate, which HR has already informed is against company policy. Yeah, he might want to think that one through.
    via u/Poetic-Personality
  • 15
    yoshimitsou • 1d ago . Saying that your boyfriend is "kind of the man around here" (at work) is so odd.
    via u/yoshimitsou
  • 16
    Disastrous-Check... . • 23h ago Why are you dating a man who willingly just took two demotions? He sounds like an unserious person.
    via u/Disastrous-Check3977
  • 17
    Glass_Rent_5158 • 22h ago This is why you don't sleep with coworkers.. smh. The fact this dude stepped down over it too is honestly.. a sign. he is not this great catch you think he is. One of you should work elsewhere if you think it's so "meant to be" but if you leave I don't see it lasting either
    via u/Glass_Rent_5158
  • 18
    supernormie · 1d ago What are your ages? Honestly, he'll probably be fine because of his proximity to the CEO, but you? What's your reputation within the company?
    via u/supernormie
  • 19
    I never recommend young women to get too familiar with HR, because HR works for the org, not for you. If you care about this job, I wouldn't get involved at all. What she's doing is unprofessional, but it's not illegal and likely difficult to prove. At best she might get a slap on the wrist. At best.
    via u/supernormie
  • 20
    Curious_cakes7 • 20h ago . Your new boyfriend is taking a demotion so you can be together? Why doesn't one of you just leave?
    via u/Curious_cakes7
  • 21
    Honest_Tie_1980 · 1d ago • Filing a complaint about the hr manager to the hr manager is insane. Also this is reason numba 1004577 not to get involved with coworkers romantically until after one of you quit. Because sh like this happens.
    via u/Honest_Tie_1980
  • 22
    whatdafreak · 1d ago • I've never worked anywhere, where it was appropriate for a manager or team lead to date an employee. In the restaurant industry people get away with it more but in an office?? H I no. Your HR lady is doing her job, it's not solely because she's jealous of your relationship
    via u/whatdafreak_
  • 23
    Ok-Willow-9145 · 1d ago . Honey you've bought this guy's hype. The HR woman isn't jealous she told him company hype. He was removed from a position of leadership because he continued to flout policy after being informed and likely being counseled too.
    via u/Ok-Willow-9145
  • 24
    If you keep letting this dude lead you around by the nose you might both end up unemployed. Do the mature thing and move on from this relationship. The two of your are not Romeo and Juliette standing for love against the big, bad HR lady.
    via u/Ok-Willow-9145
  • 25
    By adopting a combative stance against policies you agreed to, as a condition of employment, you are jeopardizing your career growth over some
    via u/Ok-Willow-9145
  • 26
    OhioPhilosopher ⚫ 1d ago Usually, what works best is if the company is big enough that you two can work very far from each other, or if one leaves. Both of you should try to steer clear of HR until you figure out your next move.
    via u/OhioPhilosopher
  • 27
    DueBanana9142 · 14h ago workplace relationships can get tricky, especially with power dynamics. she might be upset he didn't disclose it sooner or could have other reasons. snapping isn't okay, but it's unlikely to get her fired. just focus on your work and stay low-key to avoid drama.
    via u/DueBanana9142

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office romance boss antiwork workplace-stories hr toxic-workplace job coworker relationship bosses work coworkers romance working reddit story toxic-boss workplace reddit thread bad bosses Reddit toxic-work-environment
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